Jury Duty

[NOTE: This I've been going through all the posts that have been saved to draft but never published.

This was written long before it was published. Go figure.]

Sorry, I have long since given up trying to find just the right photo to go with each entry.

I do nails. I have LOTS of pictures of nails. These are pretty snazzy nails, and this is the design that recently snared me a second place win in the Nailpro Cyber competitions. The nails took me 9 hours to do, most of that was spent trying to get the design out of my head and onto the nails, but I owe a big Thanks to my model, Michelle, for her patience and use of her hands!

So about 2 weeks ago I got a jury duty summons. This is only the second jury duty notice I have even received, the first one I got was right after I'd moved out of the county and I had to call up and explain that I didn't actually live there anymore.

But that was over 10 years ago. Some people get called every year and some people don't. So far, I've been in that "don't" category.

So last night I dutifully called the number to listen to the automated message to see if it was worth rescheduling all my clients for today. Sure enough, I had to report to the courthouse at 9 a.m.

Mind you, I am not, nor have I ever been, a morning person. 9 a.m. remains about an hour earlier than I'm generally willing to committ to being anywhere. But I was just so thrilled I didn't have to be there at 8 I didn't even pout.

Since I've never actually had to GO to jury duty, I admit to being a tad bit nervous. But, heck, I've been to our county courthouse-- just not for court. So I knew where I was headed. I just wish I'd known it would have been ok to arrive with a venti pumpkin spice latte in my hand.

See, the thing is, I WANT to do jury duty. Yeah, that's right, I would LOVE to sit on a jury.

I read 12 Angry Men when I was 16. It remains one of my favorite plays. I really prefer to listen to it as a radio play, but it's also a pretty kickass movie. You should definately check it out.

So I have spent the last 23 years thinking that sitting on a jury would be pretty cool.

The only problem is, I do nails. I'm self employed. There's no one to cover for me while I'm out. And sure, jury duty is inconvenient for lots of people, and most businesses don't pay their employees while they serve-- but I don't even have the option of drawing on vacation pay. If I get picked, I don't get paid. I mean-- other than their generous $15 a day, which isn't going to go far.

Sure, the BF would kick in and make sure the electricity stayed on at the house and that I didn't go hungry while I was out of work-- but who's going to pay my booth rent? Who's going to cover my health insurance? My business insurance? My car payment?

Scheduling time off in the salon biz takes a virtual act of God. In the 18 years that I have been doing nails, I have scheduled 2 weeks off in a row ONCE. It was back in 2005 and I had 9 month's notice to make it happen!

I've long since figured out how to clear the schedule for a few days at a time without panicking, and I like to think my clients would be sympathetic if I were called to serve on a jury, but I still live in fear of ending up on the next O.J. Simpson jury.

Really, a couple of days? I'll make that happen. A couple of weeks? Sorry, Your Honor, I can't do it.

I hear all kinds of stories from people about going to jury duty. The law is set up to allow me to NOT face financial ruin at the hands of my "civic duty" but there are a few judges out there who don't give a crap. Which, btw, is really crummy for the defendant. You don't want a jury who's so distracted by the fact that being tasked with deciding your fate is costing her 2 weeks pay and possibly her entire business that she's not paying attention to the evidence being presented at your trial.

Seriously, all I can imagine is how sick to my stomach I would be if I found myself serving on a jury in a trial that lasted more than a week. I guess that's what alternates are for though, cuz I'd end up in the hospital with an anxiety-induced heart attack for sure!

At any rate, I showed up this morning at the courthouse. Finding parking was the first challenge, with many cars having chosen to take up more than one space. I really think that if there's anywhere in town where you should get ticketed for parking like an asshat, it should be at the courthouse. I'd have the sheriff out there putting parking tickets on everyone's windows-- with notes that say, "You juror's parking permit entitles you to ONE parking space."

Thankfully, the new car is a subcompact-- so it fit in nicely next to the convertible red mustang that SCREAMED "Middle aged man who doesn't want to talk about his e.d."

The only other challenges I faced through the day were related to maintaining my self control and NOT going on a murderous rampage. I'm not sure how I would have perpetrated one anyway, I guess I could have stabbed them all with the stylus from my PDA.

Yeesh. There's about a hundred chairs in the room and they're all those stackable chairs you find in hotel conference rooms. They're all hooked together on the sides with those little hook-and-eye type things-- easier to keep the rows neat that way. Problem is, when all the chairs are connected like that, it's easier to drive someone insane by kicking a chair too.

How is it that GROWN MEN can't sit still for more than 5 minutes? And, fine, don't sit still, I don't care-- but don't KICK SOMEONE ELSE'S FREAKIN CHAIR! Don't kick the chair in front of you if it's attached to someone else's chair!

Ok. So with some manuevering, I managed to unhook my chair from all the others. Kick away, boys.

But WHY did I have to be there at 9 a.m. if no one is even going to acknowledge us until 10:30?

Next time I'll come armed with both coffee and more reading material.

Things finally got underway and I made my way to the courtroom with the rest of my group, where the judge explained the case to us and started asking people why they thought they needed to be excused.

He let some go, he made some stay. Then he simply picked 19 people and told the rest of us thanks for our time and have a nice day.

That's it. I handed in my badge and found myself at a loss for what I was going to do with the ret of my day. I went to the bank and then got some lunch and came home to my dogs. Who were happy to see me until they decided I wasn't sharing my lunch with them and then they just went back to sleep.

I'm bummed. I was totally willing to clear my schedule for the 2 to 3 days the trial was estimated to last.

Oh well. Maybe it won't take another 10+ years before I get another summons.

Some day I'm going to be retired, and when I am, I'm going to be one of those crazy people who volunteer for jury duty.